I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we constantly wrestle with our identity and how our identity can shift when we’re alone versus in a group of any size or familiarity. Certainly, during these divisive times, we grapple with aloneness in our opinions, thoughts, perspectives, and stances. When we are perceived as “black sheep,” oppositional, or stubborn beyond reason among our family members, we often are pushed into a proverbial corner and may feel all alone in the world. I’ve come to realize that this feeling isn’t unfamiliar to empaths and psychics. There are so many people who retreat from expressing emotions and truths. They can feel insulted or criticized or overlooked in the face of truth and real emotions. When people deny their actions, motivations, and reactions so vehemently, is it even worth arguing? I used to think it was until I released my screaming-from-the-bottom-of-a-well suffering self. I fully realize that releasing lifelong pain and suffering is not easy and, for many people, it feels impossible. In marveling and contemplating how I ended up in a place of calm acceptance and self-love, I honestly am perplexed. Seemingly, this tremendous shift didn’t occur in one fell swoop but took years of practice and opening my eyes and mind to possibilities. I am amazed by this miracle which I know isn’t meant for me alone. Confronting and living with the uncertainty of cancer and loss is a rollercoaster ride of emotions and what-ifs. How to let go and live in the moment was my greatest desire. I grew to realize the gift of fortitude in aloneness. And along with help from learned friends and acquaintances and via my psychic gifts, I could succeed and feel less lonely in the aloneness of our predicaments and in this stage of my life.

Recognizing that our intuitive and psychic knowing may lead to isolation is confusing. How can I be attuned to others’ feelings and motivations via a psychic connection yet feel isolated from others? If I’m able to feel what others are feeling, shouldn’t I be closer to them in proximity and understanding, connection and communication? Well, it ain’t necessarily so. Unless someone is open to our level of mental connection, I imagine it could scare the Bejesus out of them. And someone who vehemently denies their truths and experiences… well, they do not want to be reached. As I’ve lived an entire life with a mother who defies truth and logic, it’s a wonder I found truths at all. But her animosity towards me and my truths only propelled my quest for more independent thought.

The ability to think independently and with connection to our inner source strength reminds me of a serendipitous meeting I experienced this week. While selling raffle tickets for a local organization that helps isolated and struggling women in our area, I connected rather quickly with a woman who introduced herself as a healer and a medium. Strikingly, I’d been told at a psychic reading last year that I’d meet people who’d help me advance my mediumship skills. I was told to “keep your eyes open.” This bright independent woman gave me her number and encouraged me to get in touch. Our meeting felt profound and necessary, and I didn’t hesitate to call and set up an appt. for a healing session, especially because a lower crown fell off unexpectedly and needs to be replaced with an implant. I was distraught and despairing because I already need a lot of dental work in the year ahead. I broke down and had a “good cry” and my husband comforted and reassured me. But I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something I need to know and which was triggered by this broken crown/tooth. I very much look forward to our session this week.

This sense of knowing occurs periodically and I’m compelled to search for intuitive answers. I never scheduled regular sessions with psychics except for my yearly astrology-numerology-intuitive reading each December birthday. It’s a nice way to look toward and think about the new year ahead. What I’ve always done is booked a session with someone when I couldn’t deny the psychic nagging that said, “There’s something you need to know.” I can turn inward, of course, and tune into my own psychic abilities via communicating with my guides. I like referring to them as “my guides” as it illustrates how I have personal and stalwart protectors around me all of the time. Years ago after I first moved to the Cape and before my own psychic ability discoveries, a psychic said to me, “Can you tell your guides to wait in the car? You’re surrounded by them!” Anyway, I recognize that sometimes I need help in accessing information that seems to be just beyond my immediate reach.

With my own blossoming psychic capabilities, I do practice discovering answers on my own. Chakra healing meditations help tremendously, as I’ve discussed in other posts. And, as I grow confidence and knowledge about my own abilities, I’m less dependent on others’ approval and constant presence in my life. The lone wolf is common imagery of the psychically gifted, as well as the witch who lives on her own in the woods. Yet, she doesn’t live alone. Surrounded by Nature, her world is filled with communication and insight. I find that I do not enjoy hiking groups in our beautiful forests and dunes as I prefer to listen to what Nature reveals to me. Walking quickly with people chattering constantly sets my nerves on edge and stifles the important messages my angels, guides, and ancestors intend for me. After all, we often are pulled toward people from whom we can access information or insight, connection and communion, and empathy and compassion–all powerful and empowering experiences indeed.

I believe that the words power and empowerment are the result of accepting aloneness in a lonely world. I’m not lonely when I reprimand the hummingbirds for fighting. I’m not lonely when our variety of birds visit and call to me and to each other. I’m not alone when I hug a tree during a walk in our forests. I’m not alone when turkeys, coyotes, and critters frequent or cross our property. I’m not alone when a path of footprints stretches across the sand on a lonely beach. There is always someone in the distance or either far out in front of or behind me. I merely can choose to engage with others and currently find that chance conversations with strangers are uplifting and informative. I swim at a local indoor pool and have met many kind and enlightening individuals. They respond cordially to my smiles and warm words. Of course, there are a couple of women who glare at me or pretend not to see me standing right next to them. It’s funny really to witness their oppositional behavior toward someone they’ve never attempted to connect with. I shrug my shoulders and remind myself that there’s an intuitive sense within me that frightens them. What other reason could turn a smile and friendly “Hi” into continual visceral negative reactions? In these instances, its vital for empaths and psychics not to take personally these unfriendly behaviors.

I believe my growing psychic awareness has helped me in tremendously positive ways in regard to not sweating these slights from strangers. Also, no longer do I feel ostracized and outcast when family members ignore me. I accept that I’m not everyone’s “cup of tea” and that some people just don’t or won’t like me. I no longer feel wounded or invalidated. I acknowledge that everyone and everything constantly changes and one major constant in our lives is our ability to change and adapt, to question and intuit, to ignore and leave alone, to love and light up those in need. Connecting with others on a higher level of consciousness has been the greatest confidence booster of my life. I realize that I am not alone at all. And if I choose to separate from the crowd, I’m not lonely in my quest for further quiet, solitude, empowerment, and growth. The choice always is mine. Let the inner love shine.

Thank you for reading and shining your own light in the world.