Obviously, I took a break from blogging. I hadn’t planned to… I just followed my gut and my intuitive sense and stepped back for a little bit. I’m not even sure why. It’s not as if I had nothing to say. Perhaps it’s because vital conversations were occurring within myself, and introspection paves the way for growth and learning. Thus, I heeded the adult wisdom I’ve gained and earned and kept outwardly quiet on this forum. In this vein, I nurtured my inner restless and needy spirit. I said “No” to outer noise and interference, opinions and queries, pleas and demands. I also ended up traveling solo to Western Mass when my husband contracted a bad cold. I trekked through woods with two friends and contemplated intriguing and soothing artwork at the wonderful Clark Art Institute. We visited the Susan B. Anthony Birthplace and Museum which enlivened our suffragette spirits. When I returned to the Outer Cape, I was renewed with the empowerment of my personal and apropos “No” to requests, demands, or suggestions that I refuted for a variety of reasons.

It’s important for me to no longer make excuses or give reasons as to why I cannot or am unwilling to participate in whatever is being asked of me. It’s not easy, however. I still found myself making excuses and even an outright lie about why I no longer can do something I just don’t want to do. Silly, it seems, at my age to not be forthright. Alas, we are programmed over the years to refrain from hurting someone’s feelings or to cut short the whys and hows of our decisions. It’d help if people were more willing to accept our ‘No, I’m not able to do this now” and let us be. Too often, we’re asked, “Why not?” I’m learning to say, “Because I cannot do it now,” smile, and walk away.

Too often we expect ourselves to accept another’s burdens and to live up to others’ ideals. We ignore our inner pleas for rest or more vigor and acquiesce when we want to follow our intuition, our heart, and our soul longings. It’s time we take back our autonomy to know what feeds our soul and when. When we continue to go along to get along, we’re silencing our inner voice and sub-conscious intuition that guides us to what we truly need to grow and prosper. And when we are attuned to this inner intuitive voice, we notice more clearly the calm knowing amid the storms in life.

This calm knowing is ever present this week. I’d been waking up during the last several weeks with a mild nervous restlessness that had shifted to a prevalent sadness in the collective. Then, at the end of last week, I woke up feeling calm which lasted until this morning when I awoke feeling a mild rising collective energy which contains some mild anxiety but more hopefulness. It can be difficult to explain to people that these feelings aren’t mine. They’re outside of me and are what I sense from the collective society. As a psychic empath, these feelings float around me, and I can feel them, yet they’re not mine to claim. I am ever hopeful that we are on a healing path toward greater prosperity of spirit and compassion for others. I know that I only can lead myself forward and toward kindness and stability in my life. While others may be whirling and swirling in a toxic frenzy, I do not have to engage or partake in their angst. Even when they’re standing alongside me or in passing, I can send out a healing loving thought toward them and keep going. I’m not responsible for their pain but I don’t exactly ignore it. I offer up light to surround and comfort them, so that they may feel the light of hope and calm. But their journeys are their own and their stumbles and tumbles are also.

Saying “No” may sound like “mind your own damn business” but it’s not meant to condemn people to a life of alienation. Actually, it’s an eye-opening request to examine yourself, your motivations, your anger, your rages, your fears and to stop blaming everyone else for these very harrowing emotions that can take over our moral compass, our common sense, and our humanity. Saying “No” and being told “No” are invitations to look within ourselves and figure out our own “shit.” How did we get here? What domino effects created a person we may not recognize in the mirror? When someone tells us that they don’t like our tone, the response isn’t to deny the tone. But to ask, “what tone did you hear?” And, then we need to stop and examine ourselves–minds, hearts, souls–and figure out how to temper the hostility and hurts we feel. Addressing these issues doesn’t dismiss our feelings but seeks to examine what the triggers are.

Anger is a secondary emotion which is caused by primary emotions–abandonment, betrayal, cruelty, sorrow, pain. When someone lashes out with a tense tone and very frustrated response when I ask a simple question, calmness is warranted. Otherwise, escalation of negative feelings ensues. If someone is unwilling to search their feelings honestly, there’s little we can do but deescalate, walk away, and absolutely do not internalize their struggles and pain. We cannot help someone who won’t acknowledge their suffering. But we can be sure not to adopt their suffering onto ourselves.

When I look at the serenity of the photo above, I see different things depending on the time of year and life. When life feels easier, I see playfulness and camaraderie. When life feels more tense, I feel the need to retreat. There are two sides to this reaction. Some people would say to ignore the reclusive feelings and find a way to blend in with the group. Others may say to honor what we feel and lean into the solitude we seek. I agree to both and only in knowing ourselves fully and truthfully will be know which suits our needs on any given day. To honor ourselves is to love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we are better partners, better citizens, and more compassionate people. Because we then can empathize with others when we acknowledge our own feelings of joy and woe. Riding that high horse in a flurried frenzy doesn’t promote well-being. We may enjoy the rush of wild abandonment but, eventually, we have to land back on Earth and figure out in which direction we’re headed next. When we rely on our inner compass and sense of purpose on any given day, we rise up in wholeness and spiritual wellness–even when we’re in pain or suffering.

Pretending the pain doesn’t exist, or that our voices aren’t tense, or our words aren’t cruel only triggers more unease and unhappiness. We can help heal our wounds when we acknowledge our vulnerabilities and frailties, while praising our kind hearts and goodness. Even Polyphemus loved his sheep while he munched on Odysseus’ men for dinner. As we acknowledge our duality we also must do it for others.

Light exists within each of us as does the power to say “No” to others when we require self-care—an empowering gift that we deserve. Saying “No” allows us to step back and reflect on what we truly want to say “Yes” to and propels us to greater understanding of our wants and needs, dreams and desires.

Thanks for stopping by and Namaste 🙂